A Trip to the Jeffersonian
by Eden Ann Stark
Summary: Nate and Elena visit the Jeffersonian. For completely scrupulous reasons. Set sometime after Drake's Fortune. Sorry about the title .


AN: Uncharted with a bit of Bones mixed in. :) Let me know if you find any mistakes; it's been a long time since I've written anything aside from stuff for school. Don't know how rusty I'll be. (I also rushed through the revision…)

A Trip to the Jeffersonian

"Nate, what are we doing here?" Elena asked, glancing up at the Jeffersonian Institute.

"It's the best museum in the country; why wouldn't we be here?" he answered as they stood outside the entrance. "I thought you'd like go through it."

Elena raised an eyebrow, "And that's it?"

Nate walked ahead, and entered the building.

"I hear the gardens are fantastic," he called over his shoulder.

"Typical," she muttered before heading inside. "You know flowers aren't going to — Oh, wow. This is impressive."

"See? I knew you'd like it. Okay, I think we should head over to the Egyptian exhibit fir—"

"Hang on there, cowboy," she commanded, pulling her eyes from the museum's interior. "What are we _really _doing here?"

Her face was completely serious, and some might say her gaze was downright threatening. Nate briefly wondered if this is the same look she had when she was gunning down pirates; he hadn't really had the opportunity to look during.

"Just some information."

"That's it?" she asked for the second time. "No naked zombies? No breaking and entering?"

"We came through the front door. I don't think that counts as breaking and entering," he joked, ignoring the odd looks garnered by mentioning naked zombies.

"Nate."

"Nothing like that. I promise. I just need to get a look at this Egyptian tablet."

"What happened to taking a vacation from the whole risk your life for treasure thing?"

"It's small job, completely safe."

"Uh-huh."

"Oh, come on Elena, you only went on one treasure hunt. They're not all like that," he teasingly admonished. "Let's just enjoy the museum."

Elena pretended to still be irritated for a moment before grinning and hooking her arm through his. It wouldn't do to have him knowing she couldn't resist that smile. (It was too goddamn charming).

——————————

A few hours and one trip around entire museum, including the gardens, later, Nate and Elena had learned three things. First, the Jeffersonian was a huge-ass building. Second, no matter how much you love history, there is such a thing as too much. Neither one would be disappointed if they never read another informative plaque again. Third, there was no Egyptian exhibit.

"Maybe we just haven't found it yet," Nate suggested, analyzing the map they'd picked up.

"Nate, we've been around the entire place, and I didn't see a single Egyptian artifact," Elena told him; gratefully leaning against the back of the bench they were sitting on. "Are you even sure it's on display?"

Nate glanced up from the map as if it was a possibility he hadn't even considered, "I hadn't thought that far ahead…"

Elena let out an exasperated sigh, "Let's _go ask_ someone then."

"We don't need to —" he started, but she had already hopped off the bench, headed in the direction of a suited man nearby.

"Excuse me, but do know if there's an Egyptian exhibit out on display?"

"I don't actually work here… Just a second. Hey, Bones!" he called out to the woman walking towards him. "Do you know where the Egyptian exhibit is?"

The woman's expression grew puzzled, "Those artifacts have been in storage for several months now."

Elena glared at Nate, but he merely shrugged. The two stepped to the side, angrily whispering.

The woman, Bones, spoke up again to her companion, "Booth, I don't understand what's going on."

"Eh, don't worry Bones, they're just lost. Let's get going, you have a dead body to examine."

By the time they resolved their disagreement, Booth and Bones were long gone, and they were mostly alone.

"It's getting late; let's just go back to the hotel," Elena suggested. "We can look for a copy or some pictures of whatever tablet you need to see."

Nate didn't answer however. He returned to the bench, and pulled his map out again, talking to himself and making notes. There wasn't any point in trying to reach him now, one of his more irritating habits, so Elena joined him on the bench. She couldn't help but wonder if even a pregnancy bomb could snap him out of this state.

"Okay, I've got it. The Egyptology department is here. The entrance to the storage area is probably nearby, next to this exit; it probably leads underground," he said, pointing to various spaces on the map. "We'll just slip in, take a look, and slip out."

"We're going to break into a government building," she flatly replied. "Just like that?"

"Think of it as a private showing."

He grabbed her hand, and pulled her off the bench. They headed across the museum, passing only a handful of people on the way. They'd almost reached their destination when a rather important problem crossed Elena's mind.

"What about security?"

"We'll just take 'em down."

"I'm sure this place has alarms and cameras, Nate."

"Those can be disabled," he told her, waving his hand nonchalantly.

"What in the world would I do if I wasn't dating such a skilled thief?"

Nate wrapped an arm around her, laughing, "You wouldn't have as much fun, and you'd get caught all the time."

They arrived at the Egyptology department moments later, passed the main entrance, and took a left. The hallway was empty of security personnel as well as security equipment.

"Fortune favors the bold," he said, reveling in their luck.

Their luck, however, had ran out by the time they made it to the "Employees Only" door; it was locked.

"Well, shit. I don't suppose you know how to pick a lock?"

"No, it's never come up on the show. I'll look into ancient lock picking for our next episode."

"There's no need be like that Elena. It's not like I knew it was going to be locked."

"Let's just head back, Nate."

He was about to respond when a flash of color at the end of the hallway caught his eye.

"I think I just found our key. Wait here."

Elena watched him stealthily walk around the corner. Seconds later, she heard a body fall to the floor. Nate came back a few minutes later, holding up a ring full of keys.

"I hid him in a nearby bathroom. Let's hope he doesn't wake up any time soon," he informed her, trying various keys. "Ah, here we go."

The storage area was just as empty as the hallway, and it didn't take long to find the Egyptian artifacts. They didn't know the museum's classification system, so it took far longer to locate the item Nate wanted, and once he finally found it, it had to be thoroughly examined. Elena looked over Nate's shoulder for a bit; her show had taken her to Egypt before, but she hadn't ever seen anything like that tablet.

Instead she walked around the room, looking at the artifacts she'd passed over earlier. Most of them were in display cases, but hardly any of the cases were locked. She could help but think that maybe this little break-in was good for the Jeffersonian too; their security was surprisingly shitty.

Nate was taking pictures of the tablet when she moved on the largest artifact in the room: a bed. She inspected the frame, and was in the middle of translating the hieroglyphics on the headboard when she realized who the bed's owner was.

"Nate, this is Cleopatra's bed," she said, unable to resist lying down on it.

"We know it was well-used then," he commented, stuffing his camera back into his pocket.

He was about to tell her that they should head out; they'd been there at least half an hour, and he didn't want to push his luck. Seeing Elena sprawled out on a 2000 year old bed with the bottom of her shirt riding up succeeded in changing his mind though, and he joined her on the bed.

"You know, I don't think we should let such a grand bed go unused," he whispered huskily, lips brushing against her ear.

"I'm going to have to agree with you," she responded, wrapping her arms around his neck.

—————————

Booth walked through the Medico-Legal Lab, expecting to see his ever-diligent partner examining the burnt skeleton they'd brought in yesterday, but Bones wasn't there, nor were any of her colleagues. He looked around the rest of the lab before heading up to her office. On the way, he heard some very interesting noises coming out of Angela's office. Actually, the noises sounded a lot like sex moans, and Booth debated on whether or not he should go in.

"Angela wouldn't do… that here… not in the middle of the day. Would she? No, definitely not," he concluded before entering the office.

He almost breathed a sigh of relief that he wasn't walking in on Angela and Hodgins making up, but seeing what they were really doing only made him confused.

"Uh, what are we watching?"

"A couple broke into the Egyptology's storage area yesterday evening," Bones answered.

"It doesn't look like they're breaking and entering."

"Cleopatra's bed has irresistible sex vibes," Angela said with a grin, and Cam sent her a glare.

"Why are we watching their sex tape?"

"We're trying to get a look at their faces," Cam replied. "This area is the oldest part of the building. Not the best security."

"Was anything taken?" Booth questioned.

"No, everything checked out," Bones told him.

"Well, push it to the back burner for now. I need an ID on that body, Bones."

* * *

… Thoughts?


End file.
